Dealing with uncertainty

    

       

    So who else is struggling with deciding where they want to go to college? Probably a decent number of you, including myself. I never thought of myself as an indecisive person before. I always thought I knew what I wanted. I guess I do know in broad terms what I want, but deciding on an institution that will help me get there is scary. People are always telling me, you can just transfer if you don't like it, but there's no guarantee that the place I transfer to will be any better. The chaos of it all is what I need to overcome, or as this blog says, embrace.

    A few points in this actually helped, unlike those "inspirational" quotes you find hidden in your meme feed. I mean really, what on earth am I supposed to do with "choose what makes your heart bloom?" Ugh. If I'm remembering correctly that man with a fir tree growing inside him was not very happy. 

    Anyway, one of the main points I have to keep reminding myself of is staying in the present because you can't predict the future, unfortunately. Still not completely convinced that there aren't at least a few people who can, but that's a topic for another day. The post reminded me to stay grounded because the future is malleable and the only thing I know for sure is the here and now. 

    You guys remember inertia, right? Objects in motion, stay in motion, while objects at rest, stay at rest unless acted upon by an external force. I feel like that applies to another point brought up in the blog. The writer says, "you will feel better doing than not doing." That was quite true, and I felt called out. When you're not doing anything, you continue that, but a simple force can change your course. Ooh, that rhymed, yay! #poetryvibes

    He basically said that when you do something, you're creating your future and regaining control amidst the chaos. I was interested in this statement so I started working on this blog hehe. It was a good idea because once the words come out onto the page, I just keep going and put my thoughts out there. But seriously, when I read this a few days ago in class, I went and made my bed, and even though that's a small task, it was still pretty energizing because I felt that sense of accomplishment. 

    The writer's final point was that "going with the flow is a lot of fun." I completely agreed with that once I realized how many happy memories I have of myself doing something spontaneous. A while ago I saw someone recommend an interesting book on TikTok and instead fo worrying about the page length or how long it might take, I just found it online and read it. It was really cleansing in a way because I just followed my instinct and ended up really enjoying the book. I was pretty surprised at how quickly I finished it too considering how slow I am at reading. It was eye-opening and I never would've known if I had kept fussing over the minute details.

    To conclude, I still don't know how to decide where to go, but I know that once I do, I won't doubt myself.